i never trusted my parenting
i never believed that there was no one better
i did not think that my history lent itself
to anyone's benefit.
no longing.
no need unfulfilled
or desire left wanting.
it was not me.
i would have been happy
without children.
i would know a different happy
and fill needs i do not know
with friends i've never met.
but there is something about
becoming a parent,
that i almost feel guilty about
when i talk with friends who do not know;
there is a moment beyond all moments
when you pass from one life to another.
there is a consequential change
in the modernity of everyday
when what you say and do
becomes the universe of another
not just as a guidepost to strive toward
but also as a warning when the path is not right.
there is truth in their vision
just as there is honesty in the everyday
so to be a parent, me,
once without that care in my world
and to think, as i am writing this now,
there is no greater admission,
no finer gift, unexpected,
a hidden prayer, gone answered.
Beautiful reflection and one handsome young man. I knew you when being a parent wasn't in your view, and I knew then, that should it become real, no child in the world could ever have a finer dad. I think I was right. Congratulations, Kevin!
I've come back to read your words several times and each time I manage to peel off another onion layer of meaning revealing yet more beneath. There are some profound truths here which have found their embodiment in this fine young man who is to be admired and congratulated for the career path he has chosen. (My daughter is 25 years into a career with the Royal Air Force - I share your pride.)
Surely, Kevin, you keep all your writings in a journal, one that will be treasured in generations to come! If fatherhood came to you as an unexpected Gift, may I suggest there are still more gifts to be had, waiting in the wings, and it's not too early to start preserving your Special Gift of Self.
Like @vignouse, I too have come back to this page several times. But unlike him— and you—I am not a father. I've been a STEPfather for 20 years, but I didn't know them very young.
My best friend's son is a marine officer... an unexpected choice that has turned out to be an amazing one.
I keep coming back to this page because it resonates with that part of this 52-year-old soul who realizes that the unfulfilled wish has bred (or perhaps maintained) a measure of selfishness on my part.
Thank you. I need to meditate on whose universe I'm a part of, and where my consequentiality resides.
@squamloon Your last sentence landed on my head like a heavy weight - I had never considered that my presence here on earth engendered a consequality. It's a provoking and disturbing thought... which has perhaps reached me a bit late at 72 years of age! Thank you for disturbing my complacency...
@Weezilou Thank you, as always, Dear Lady! We are surrounded by gifts, I think, that we have yet to open ♡ Merry Christmas and here's to meeting up in the New Year!
@squamloon@vignouse am humbled beyond words by your thoughtful consideration. That you choose to join this conversation is a real honor. I admire your perspectives that you share with us here and through your art. You have made this piece better with your contributions and I am thrilled! Thank you both and Merriest of Christmas wishes!
May I join in praising this photo and your words. Your words "there is a moment beyond all moments / when you pass from one life to another" that perfectly resonate with some verses I wrote a few years ago for my wife's last "round" birthday. I can't but like and utterly agree!
Merry Christmas, m'friend ♥ and to Jae as well ♥
My best friend's son is a marine officer... an unexpected choice that has turned out to be an amazing one.
I keep coming back to this page because it resonates with that part of this 52-year-old soul who realizes that the unfulfilled wish has bred (or perhaps maintained) a measure of selfishness on my part.
Thank you. I need to meditate on whose universe I'm a part of, and where my consequentiality resides.