Today is the anniversary of a tragic event in my life. I was teaching in a small Christian school at that time. The day began with the usual hustle and bustle of getting out of the house on time and arriving for the morning teachers' meeting on schedule. But all that changed when we learned of Jame's death.
I will never know or understand what drove him to take his own life. But I know his decision profoundly changed everyone he knew.
James was creative, talented, independent, quirky, and bright. He could annoy you in one moment and endear himself to you in the next. He had a passion for missions and youth ministry. He was not satisfied with easy answers. In many ways he was extreme, and that intensity pushed him into choosing an extreme way out of the pain he must have been fighting. My heart mourns his loss because I didn't get to know him better. Could I have helped him out of the darkness he battled? I don't know. I never will. And that is the worst cut of suicide; the many unanswered questions those effected by it will live with for the rest of their lives.
I wanted to post a tribute to James and so my picture today celebrates his life; not his death. He is with Christ, and he is most likely flashing that contagious grin of his all over heaven. Why only one drumstick? James was a talented musician, but the music of his life is incomplete.
In tragedies like this, the questions usually go unanswered, and when it is someone you know, someone close, you always go through the series of personal interrogation, why, what if, if only I had....It goes on and on until we are willing to put it to rest and accept the painful fact of their choice. I lost two friends to suicide, and though its been years, when I think over the questions, I still get tears in my eyes, and aches in my heart. Thoughts and prayers to friends and family.
Lovely tribute. A classmate of my son's committed suicide this year, and he was also a infectiously happy person, or so it appeared. i only met him once, but he left a lasting impression and when he killed himself I mourned for him for days. I wish I could have told him that the best part of his life was still ahead of him and not to give up hope.
