On May 14, we will have had these two little people full-time for 3 months with the exception of that one week, about 3 weeks into it, that we took them back to their house. What started out as a respite for mommy and daddy has turned in to something completely different.
If you saw my post from last October,
https://365project.org/shesnapped/365/2016-10-17 then you know part of the story. So much more has come to light since then, none of which should be posted here, none of which I have any control over or can do anything about, and this Nana's heart has been completely broken over all of it. For those of you who talk to God, please talk to Him about this precious family!
So, for the time being, and for the foreseeable future, these two little people are living life with us. What a privilege and relief for Gradda and me, but WOW! WHAT a change of life!!! My two boys are 11 years apart, and that somehow made raising them almost feel like I was raising an only-child for most of their childhoods. And of course, we were MUCH younger!!!
I remember when my youngest was graduating from high school just two years ago. I said to dh, in tears, that I wasn't ready to give up being mom. I don't remember exactly what I said to him, but something to the effect of even tho I had been raising kids for nearly 30 years, I would still do it for another 30 years..... OH MY!!! Apparently, Heaven paid attention!
So here we are. This is much different at age 50 than it was at 20 or 30. And add to that statistic the fact that there are TWO this time!
With my first boy, I was the bread-winner (part of the reason that my ex-husband is indeed my EX-husband!) and I worked full-time. Came home, did what needed doing, and still had plenty of energy. With my second boy, a decade later, I was privileged to have a husband who took pride in being the bread-winner and loved the idea of my staying home to raise the children. We didn't have a lot materialistically, but we had enough, and we made do. And I had a home business doing bookkeeping that I could do during naptimes and evenings when necessary. And still, I could stay up late, get things done, or do my own thing, whichever, and still have plenty of energy.
Now, however, the energy is not what it used to be. I'm leaving the house to work several days a week when the little ones go down for their nap. Bedtime for us comes much earlier, and we're usually dragging our butts trying to get there. The situation with mommy and daddy has added a level of stress that I didn't even know existed, so I'm sure that's playing its part in our exhaustion. But the bottom line is, WE AIN'T AS YOUNG AS WE USED TO BE!!!!
I finally found the time last weekend, in the midst of what feels like a whirlwind of life, to sit down and look closely at our budget. We can do this, without my working, but we will be TIGHT. But there's just not much point to my leaving the house however many days each week only to have all my wages depleted by taxes and paying a sitter. After all of that's taken out, there's not that much left. Yet the house still needs cleaning and maintaining, and of course that happens at nap time IF you're there to take advantage of it, meals still need to be fixed, and where are all the sippy cups hiding and who has the energy to look?
So say a prayer for us, too, as we step out in faith believing that this will work.
And know that I have sorely missed all of you!!! I hope that my being home full-time will give us back our freedom to enjoy life and enjoy these little people, and still enjoy some of the things we had become accustomed to enjoying. When I say life has felt like a whirlwind lately, I'm not kidding. And the little ones have certainly felt it as well, and that's just not fair to them.
Let me add here: that bed we ordered that was supposed to feel like a cloud?
https://365project.org/shesnapped/365/2017-02-27 YES IT DOES!!!!
I wish you well and pray for you and hope you can still keep in touch with 365. Please remember to take care of yourself as well as everyone else because I know it is essential but not always easy to do. Take care xx
A lovely image of your grandchildren who appear happy and carefree.