hi, there! it's me, hop along bob or HAB for short. you know when i went with grandy to nova scotia, (well, she really didn't take me with her, nor little wahoo, nor mr. padraigh penwyn...we just sort of 'accidentally' landed inside her luggage...wink! wink!) i learned a lot of things, like stories with moral lessons. take for example my new nova scotian friend here, mr. slowas, a snail.
well, mr. slowas here was challenged by a fox to a race. well, duh! who would issue such a challenge to a snail? we know how fast they can run, well, they actually just slide through as they don't have feet! but my friend accepted the challenge. i told him "wtf? you can't ever win. the fox is a fast runner, he has four feet! don't you see, he's so sly he's trying to trick you!"
yet, mr. slowas accepted the challenge. so i had to referee the race even though everyone knows i am for mr. slowas. i don't know, i just have a thing for the underdogs (and that's probably why i want to be a lawyer at notworthit fullosheet). in any case, mr. fox suggested he'd give mr. slowas a headstart by letting him go for five minutes before he, mr. fox, started to run to the finish line. after that, mr. fox just moseyed on down the racecourse, whistling and stopping to smell the flowers on the way. yet, he still almost outpaced mr. slowas. so mr. fox decided to stop for a while, give poor mr. slowas more headway, and in his boredom, he fell asleep. when he came to, mr. slowas was just about to cross the finish line. so mr. fox made a mad dash to it but, unfortunately, mr. slowas reached the finish line ahead of mr. fox. mr. slowas was tired and thirsty from the race but he clearly won! i was so proud of him.
the moral of the story? you can be an ass, even if you're a fox.
