the church i go to, the donway covenant united, is an affirming church and today it celebrated its 5th year of being such. this park bench was painted with the colours of the rainbow, also in time for the pride month celebration. i like that the slats are painted with all the seven colours of the rainbow.
during the service, my new friends k and d spoke about the difficulties they encountered as a same sex couple starting from 35 years ago. they had to keep their relationship a secret and hence their sexuality for fear of losing their jobs. i almost cried when at some point of their speech, k mentioned about people laughing at or making fun of people who are gay, sometimes they had to laugh with them even though deep inside it hurt. i almost cried because back in the old country, i have nephews who are gays and we would make fun of them, and i didn't realize until i am much older that even though they laughed with us when we teased them or tried to ignore our teasing, that they surely were hurting inside.
i come from a family of gays and lesbians. my mother's eldest and youngest sisters were full blooded lesbians. on my father's side of the family, i have a number of nephews (our first cousins' children) who are gays. none of my siblings' children are gays. yet. my brother has two daughters and a son; only the oldest daughter is married. my sister vilma has two daughters and only one is married with children. my sister leng who also lives here in toronto, has a son and a daughter and only the son is married. my youngest sister, the artist who lives in the old country has two sons and a daughter and none of them are married, all three are busy with their very rewarding careers. my youngest brother, being autistic, has never married and most definitely has no issues. my boy is married and as far as i know is a full blooded male heterosexual. so among us siblings, we have 11 direct descendants, with ages ranging from 25 to 42 and only 4 are married. maybe one or two of them would come out of the closet one of these days. a nephew and a niece came to me to say they are bi-sexual; the nephew has since married his girlfriend but they don't have children. all my nephews and nieces know that of anyone among us, they can talk to me about things like this as they know i am more open minded compared to my siblings. but one thing i can tell you, it is always heartbreaking when someone opens up to you on matters such as sexuality. but i know which one of them i can tease about it and which one i would have to treat with a little bit of tenderness.
I'd love to have a bench like that, it's very cool and would be meaningful for Les and me. We are, as you'd know, a same-sex couple who are now happily married. Life was very different back when we were growing up. These Things were Not To Be Discussed!!! We both have kids from earlier (straight) marriages and so far as we know none of the kids or grandies are gay/lesbian. So good to see our countries becoming far more welcoming of diversity of all kinds. Not everyone, of course, but most people.
a fabulous welcoming bench and a bold statement from your church - and from your narrative. Teasing is always a risk - unless with the very closest of friends who would tell you if it hurts.
