we all have one or two relatives or family members who quite get on our nerves no matter what. in my case it's my twin sister. didn't i tell you i have a twin who was raised in the convent? ah, good you don't remember. now, she was sent to the nuns because she's a wretched witch. what do you know it wasn't a convent she went to, it was coven! anyhoo, in the midst of my sickie-ness last week, the termagent came. out of nowhere. literally!
twin: well, hello there, ugly twin.
me: good lord! is that how i'd look when i get old?!?!
[hah! how's that for a counter attack, hey?]
nasty twin:
[sniffing and upturning her nose whilst looking around my modest quarters] be nice, i came to take care of you. i can't stand hearing you cough like an impotent bull whose balls are being seared with...
[i know she was saying something nasty but i had a coughing fit and i missed it]
me: well, i don't need you, i can take care of myself. buh-bye.
witchy twin: oh, let me rest first, i came from so far away and i don't know, my twin conscience urged me to come to your rescue. maybe i will stay a couple of days. i need to feel beautiful and next to you i do feel validly beautiful.
me (miserable already): you can't stay.
[coughing fit here, then loudly expectorate; hahaha she winced tee-hee!] unless you want to sleep on the floor, which unfortunately i had just mopped to a cleaning shine. buh-bye.
bitchy twin: i can sleep on the sofa.
[looks around] where's the sofa?
me: never had a sofa, you know me, i don't like to encourage visiting *relatives* to stay.
[hope she gets the hint.]
floosy twin:
[roll eyes] what kind of a home doesn't have a sofa!
me: mine, now go. buh-bye, i can't stand you, you old insufferable witch! now go, before the moon gets behind the clouds!
dipstick twin: never mind, i shall just have to sleep on your bed with you and suffer through your lumberjack snoring.
me (really miserable now): i. don't. snore.
stupid twin: oh, yes, you do.
me (seeing red): i don't!
donkey twin: do so.
i shot a projectile snot (sorry for the graphic description but it's part of the story) at her that missed and melted mid-air in the now suffocatingly hot interior of the apartment.
outside, it started to rain hard and the clouds were low. so she stayed with me and screwed up my peace and quiet. thankfully, i had my sneezing and coughing and expectorating to counter her annoying presence.
two days later, the heavens cleared and the full moon showed up. i set fire on her broom and off she went. i might have to change address again!
week 15 of my 52 portraits of me project; for this week we have to 'levitate'. first levitation for me since i started my 365.
finalist - theme-pairs
see here
;0