As we prepare dad for moving to a care home next week, my brothers and I are going through an emotional time, filled with memories and concerns for dad. Dad will take some of his things with him, but obviously many items will be left behind, and will have to be sorted out at a later stage. My younger brother Stevie called me the other night and asked me to look out this bottle opener for him. It's one dad brought back from his trip to America in 1967, and it came from the Stardust Motel in Visalia, California. I wonder if that motel is still there?! Steve apparently uses it every time he comes to visit dad, and wanted to have it. It's always the small things, isn't it? It's funny how it means nothing to me, but everything to Steve. It's been put to the side for him. :-)
It really is the small things. I understand your mixed feelings about your dad going into a care home, especially during these times. You know it’s where they need to be to be best cared for, but you still fret. This is such a great pov- I spent quite a while trying to figure it out before reading your narrative.
Oh dear Izzy I’m so sad for you all....such a big heartfelt decision you’ve had to make. Guilt but concern & love for your dad will have been the top priority, ido hope he settles well & at least you can all rest easy knowing he will have someone there at all times. The nights are the worst for anyone living in their own....my mum was always frightened & used to ring me at all times of the night just because her phone had dropped on the floor etc.
I hope it will be a local home where he can have people nearby to pop in & I know you will be your usual caring self but with an easier mind.
Oh I feel for you.. I can remember going the same thing when Mum moved into care
Doesn't seem quite right to share things out when they are still with you.. Nice uou gound the bottle opener for your brother..
Such an emotionally challenging time of transition, which I hope progresses as comfortably as possible for your family. Your narrative reflects how our personal treasured memories are entwined in our everyday experiences.
It is such a hard decision to have to move your parents into care, but it is the right one because they will have company and someone 24/7 to be there for them. How lovely that your brother can have this keepsake.
@happypat Yes, it's really hard, but is the only way - for him and for us. It is local - in Tarland, 20 minutes drive from us, and closer to dad's roots.
Such a simple composition but so poignant and full of emotion. My heart goes out to you having to deal with the emotions of going through this move. In the long run I'm sure that it's the best thing for your dad, you and your family.
I will be thinking of you and your family at this difficult time but be assured you are doing the right thing, peace of mind for you and for your Dad. I felt the same when I felt obliged to move my Mum into a care facility but she had lived 90 miles away and I could only visit at weekends, we moved her close and I could pop in most days and she loved her new life. I hope your father will be just as settled and happy.
I love this image, it's the small things that often bring the strongest memories, I have a piece of Tailors chalk from my mothers sewing room and each time I use it I can feel her fingers on it!
This brings back so many memories of sorting out my mum’s bungalow when she had to go into a home. So many things I wanted to keep with all the memories Or her and my dad who had died in 1989. My sister only wanted to keep my dad’s old tweed cap that my mum had kept. It was when I picked up an old battered cast iron frying pan that my sister drew the line! We laugh now about it ! Although my mum never wanted to go into a home it really was the best thing that happened as she had company and good food and was safe! Her last years were happy ones!
Ohhh...how I feel for you. Nevertheless I am sure it will be for the best for all concerned. Isn't it strange the things that mean most to family members.......
This is a terrific POV, great details and focus. Beautifully presented.
It is so often the smallest things that say “home” or “family”. Wishing you ease as you work through this transition.
What a difficult time for you and your loved ones. Yes, it's that small things, that are so connected with the person we love as long as we live. My heart goes out to you and I'm sending you energie and strengths. Take care on yourself too. ❤
What wonderful messages that are being sent to you and your family - every one brings wishes and prayers and understanding. Such a difficult time. Trying so hard to think ahead to try to make things easier for my daughter, but it's the little things you forget about. Take care of you, too.
I have just been to look at Stardust Motel Visalia. I suspect that the current shots were taken some considerable time since your father was there. More importantly, l imagine he and your brother will both be pleased to have both owned and enjoyed this item.
My thoughts are with you, memories are funny things. When we were sorting out both my father in laws and mother and fathers things out after they passed, it was the small things that brought back memories we kept. My father in laws ‘love letters’ to his girlfriend/wife that we didn’t read, they were private and were placed in the inside pocket next to his heart when he was buried, I’m filling with tears remembering this. And my dads old wheel hoe and soil riddles (He was a gardener) that are painted and are stood in the back garden. My mams dishcloth knickers take my memory to days that for fun she used to ask poor unsuspecting friends and relatives to come inside and I will show you my knickers!! She had them on the kitchen wall and had a rather wicked sense of humor at times!!
Oh I feel for you. It still makes me feel sick when I think about my mum - she had dementia so she was confused as well. My grandfather in law thrived in a care home though - meals made, laundry sorted etc. He enjoyed scrabble (though complained the opposite couldn’t add up) and political arguments.
This is a very difficult moment. And the familiar little things are of great importance. My mother misses the most of being able to cuddle. Visits are only through the glass.
Such a poignant memory and a simple treasure for your brother to keep. I do feel for you, such a difficult decision to make. I'm sure you will ultimately all feel happier knowing that he is safe and cared for at all times. We went though difficult times with my Mum, but she was well cared for in a lovely home 4 hours drive away. I was reassured and visited at every opportunity
It's such a hard decision but even if you keep some things that you'll eventually give away, in the beginning it's better to keep them otherwise you get filled with regret that you didn't. I don't know about the motel, but that kind of can opener is a great piece of Americana since it was replaced by the flip top can. I have one that came from my grandmother's house and I use it all the time- it's not a sentimental piece for me but so practical!
Oh my. Things really have moved quickly for your dad and your family. Hopefully he will thrive with 3 meals a day and others around him. Keep those things that mean the most to you. You'll always wonder what happened to them when you don't. Thinking of you and your family as you go through this process.
It is the small things. Your narrative brought back my memories of getting mother ready to go to her assisted living center. My heart goes out to you, your dad and your siblings. This is a wonderful photo of this treasured bottle opener.
Love your focus and dof. These memories are both comforting and stressful, so sending thoughts and prayers as you navigate changes. My mom turns 84 tomorrow and I need to have her share more stories about her keepsakes.
It is such a difficult decision so change is such a scary thing. Sometimes decisions are made for you and we need to trust in what is safe. Thinking of you
March 11th, 2021
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I hope it will be a local home where he can have people nearby to pop in & I know you will be your usual caring self but with an easier mind.
Doesn't seem quite right to share things out when they are still with you.. Nice uou gound the bottle opener for your brother..
I love this image, it's the small things that often bring the strongest memories, I have a piece of Tailors chalk from my mothers sewing room and each time I use it I can feel her fingers on it!
It is so often the smallest things that say “home” or “family”. Wishing you ease as you work through this transition.
Oh my. Things really have moved quickly for your dad and your family. Hopefully he will thrive with 3 meals a day and others around him. Keep those things that mean the most to you. You'll always wonder what happened to them when you don't. Thinking of you and your family as you go through this process.
Great close up of the bottle opener.
I so agree it's often the small things that have so many memories..