and no, miss little wahoo, i'm not orange glad that i'm here. as you know, i brought along my lady friend, tami-san, (yes, i do admit, japanese girls fascinate me! so bite me) but in her excitement i frankly think she's got herself into some big holes around here and now i just can't find her! i thought i saw her up here but apparently my eyes had deceived me.
now, how do i get down from here without me breaking any of my handsome bones. as you know, i am an actor and i am wont to preserve myself for the future roles that may come my way and how i am to be famous. why, i have auditioned for the upcoming james bond role and the producers think i do have an excellent chance of edging out that daniel somebody this time.
oh, what the hell, i'll just slide down and hopefully that big chunk of a boy - what's his name now, jumping bean bob? - will be able to cushion me off should i fall. good lord!
Good thing Richard Burton isn't around anymore Mr. P. He was quite handsome in his heyday! Best wishes on the audition- or should I say "Break a leg"? Piggy
